44
|
WINTER
2016
The
Conversation...
Mom isshowingsigns
of forgetfulness.
Dad’sarthritis leaves
himbarelyable to
walk. Theirneed for
at-homecare is
becomingmore
evident, but youdread
“theconversation.”
Beginby suggesting that you
andyour siblingshavea
familymeeting. Emphasize
that this isbest for them.
Theneed for “theconversation”maycomeabout suddenlyasa resultof a
medical orother incident; or itmaycomeaboutgraduallyasyouseesome
mental orphysical deterioration.
Plan your talk, make sure that youhaveallotted
enough time to fullydiscuss theoptionsavailable
toyourparentsor relativesandanswerallof their
questions. Theymay see themselves and their
need for help inadifferent way thanyoudo. At
anyage looking in themirror canbe tough.
Gather information.Observing firsthand thedaily
activities thatanelder struggleswithwill helpde-
terminepractical supportoptions.Goingwith the
lovedone toadoctorappointment alsocannar-
row the facts.
Work as a teamwith siblings. Each sibling is a
stakeholder in securing the best care for your
lovedone, even those familymemberswhomay
veto decisions. Joining together means putting
self-interests aside to focus on thepriority of the
agingparent’sor relative’swell-being.
Listen insteadof ambush. Engaged listening en-
sures your loved one that you truly care and
value his or her feelings and preferences. The
goal is topartner and talk through solutions, but
first you must acknowledge and respect your
elder’swords.
Hopefully these suggestions will help to make
“the conversation” more productive and less
painful foryou,your siblingsandyourparentsor
youraging relatives.
|E|
Try thi s !
r
r
r
r
r
ESCARPMENT
®
well-being
